I like being single, but...

I really, really do like being single. No, I'm really not trying to convince myself of that fact. I am truly, deeply, sincerely happy being single. I like spending time with myself. I'm a pretty interesting person. I have lots of things that I enjoy doing by myself. Knitting, for one. Writing, for another. I could probably list quite a few things. I have made a list of things that I like about being single, in fact! You can find it here.

BUT I CAN'T STOP LOOKING AT MEN.

I know, I know. If I stop looking at men, I'd be a lesbian. Or possibly dead. I am allowed to find men attractive. I am allowed to wonder if they are single. Nothing wrong with either of those things at all. It would just make my life a lot easier if I didn't.

It would be easier if I didn't have to wipe the thought out every time it popped into my head. It would be easier if I didn't check for a wedding ring. It would be easier if I didn't worry about how I was dressed or how my hair looked every time I saw a guy I think cute. It's something I have to get out of the way.

On top of that, I know that looks are a very, very minor thing for me in the scheme of things. I've known some super sweet guys who were not lookers. I've known some hot guys who were total douchebags. They come in all shapes, sizes and combinations of personality and looks. The single most important quality for me in a man is someone that I continue to want to have conversations with for the rest of my life. This is not something I'm going to find just by looking at someone. That's the biggest reason that looking at men annoys me so much. I can't see what I'm looking for. It takes a lot longer to find.

Most of the time in Kentucky I don't get the chance to get to know anyone well enough to know if I want to date him or not. For one thing, most of the guys anywhere near my age are already married. For another, I think we've sunk into our internet usage(or video games, or TV, or whatever!) that we've unlearned how to meet people in public.

The biggest factor, though is this crazy phenomenon. Men in Kentucky seem to think that whenever you want to hang out with them, it means that you're crazy in love with them. Seriously, guys? That's kind of arrogant. Is there no way on God's green earth that I could just want to be friends with you? I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but you're not that irresistable!

Possibly, this is because Kentucky women are too cowardly to come out and tell a man that they like him. I'll grant that. I've been known to act like that in the past. However, I am now a mature adult. Unless you say to me that you would like to date me or make a move on me, I am going to assume that you don't have those feelings about me. Even if I might find you attractive or want to date you, I won't say a thing. I won't stalk you, won't try to kiss you, won't try to change your mind. You know that book He's Just Not That Into You? Started reading it, but quit because I realized I already subscribed to the philosophy within. If you're not interest of your own volition, I'm not either. As I mentioned before, I'm quite happy being single. I just like having friends, and I daresay there are some women out there who share my philosophy.

Now we have that out of the way, can we please just get to know each other?