Date Rape and the novel Speak

Around the internet, there's been a lot of mention of the book Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson. I haven't read the book, and all I can say is what I've heard from others. The book is about date rape. It's quickly becoming one of the most frequently banned books. I made a mental note of it and decided to pick it up if I ever saw it somewhere.

Today I realized how close to home the subjects hits for me. I have never been the victim of date rape, but two of my friends were. One in high school, and another in college. My friend in high school was the pastor's daughter, and her boyfriend one of the guys in my youth group. All of a sudden, the other youth group kids were avoiding him and clustering around her. There were rumors flying. I wasn't sure who to believe, and I really didn't want to take sides. I kept hanging out with the guy until my parents asked me not to. In the end, she moved away to stay with relatives and he was left to wonder what happened and why people were nervous around him. I am still not sure what I believe, and how I feel about it 15 years later. Was it buyer's remorse? Was it miscommunication? I don't see how difficult no is to understand.

In college, my friend was dating this guy. They used to lie around in her bed, take naps together, and I believe they had even had sex previously. I lived in a Christian dorm, and that kind of behavior was unapproved, so to speak. I think that she had decided they should stop having sex and he forced the issue. She told me and a couple of other friends about it, but didn't report it to the head resident or anyone else. I didn't take it lightly, but I didn't do anything about it or think much more about it. My friend didn't really seem like she was very affected by the rape.

In the case of both of my friends, the support fell on the side of the girls, unlike the main character in Speak. One of the girls felt comfortable enough with the adults in her life to talk about what happened. One of the girls, not so much.

The aspect of date rape that is so insidious is the doubt. This girl is dating this guy, so on some level, she must want to sleep with him. It doesn't matter if she's not ready. It doesn't matter if she says no. She wants to sleep with him anyway. It has been said many, many times but in my opinion can't be said enough: No means no.

I don't think that I can even express how important it is to speak up, to speak out. Tell someone. Tell the story of your own date rape. Tell the story of your friend's, your sister's, your neighbor's date rape. Tell girls. Tell the boys. Each time, it increases the comfort level about the subject. Each time may save another girl from being a victim. You can also increase awareness of date rape by calling both your public library and your local high school library to request that they carry the book Speak.