I Make My Own Drama

That's been my motto recently. I don't need to hang out with anyone who already has it, because I supply quite enough of my own, thank you very much. That's not to say that you'll end up with drama if you hang out with me. Not at all!

I am not good at being friends with guys. I like having guy friends, but something always happens. Sometimes it's because I feel attracted to a friend. That's really quite rare, actually. More often it's because either I realize that a guy I know has a thing for me or I'm not sure what my guy friend wants from me.

The I'm not quite sure thing happened to me recently. I've been hanging out with and talking to a guy friend since February-ish. Someone I've known since high school and hadn't really talked to since then. We'll call him HS Guy. He's a super nice guy. He pays for me when we go out to eat or to the movies. We both enjoy science fiction and are moderately geeky.

I am usually somewhat a perceptive person where body language is concerned. Not with HS Guy. He doesn't touch me overmuch for the most part. He asked for a hug after one of the movies we went to together. And he put his hand on my knee while I was at his place one weekend. He never said anything about dating, but me with my drama. I have to know where I stand. Not just knowing how I feel about a particular guy, but how he feels about me.

Some guys will come out and tell you they're interested. Some guys will tell you that they're interested in a Friends with Benefits relationship. Some will hint so strongly that you know they're interested. And some...some just keep their mouths shut. Those are the ones that make me nervous. Those are the ones that I push the issue with, subtly.

In the end, it turns out that he's content just the way I am in the relationship. Friends until one of us decides for sure that they're interested in making it into something else. I had to make it so much more difficult than it really had to be an stir up drama. I'm quite relieved to have it out in the open and taken care of, though!