My Missing Piece

It has now been four weeks since I heard from GeekBoy. I had hoped that I would bounce back quickly. Unfortunately, this has not been the case. I still grieve for the loss of him. Not even the relationship, but simply his place in my life.

Most days are fine, but I think that not a day passes without thoughts of him. I know that he has left his job. Today, I discovered that he had deleted his Facebook account. It strangles me with sadness to know that he felt like he needed to do that. I had stopped checking the obituaries, but I checked them again today. I still fear that he decided to take his own life.

While I have closure about the relationship, I don't have closure about him. I still worry about him and ache for him. He was a victim of the cruelty of other people in his life. I wish that I had something of him, something tangible. It's probably best that I don't.

Today is one of the bad days. I can barely listen to the music that he shared with me. They tear me apart because I can hear his voice singing them. If I closed my eyes, I could imagine him here with me.

I am still waiting for this fierce heartache to pass.