I may be sorry for posting about this, but it's really been amusing me lately. Dating someone new, sometimes things get...heated. And to prevent scary mental images, I'll just say that hickies ensue. Yeah, big raspberry marks on your neck. So everyone knows what you've been doing. I'm a pretty private person, and I'd really rather that people NOT know what I've been doing. It's nobody's business but mine and my significant other's. Unfortunately, I have very pale skin that is easily bruised.
Having hickies of my own has resulted in noticing hickies on other people, however. I am so hyper-sensitive about people noticing my hickies that I am watching what other people's necks look like. It's like having a specific car makes you notice other people's cars of the same make and model. There was a secretary at one of the schools I subbed at last week who had a very noticeable hickie on her neck. Then, hanging out with a couple of friends yesterday, one had a light hickie on her neck. I find it absolutely hilarious.
I consider myself a pretty forward-thinking, modern woman. I should be terribly embarrassed by the fact that I have hickies at all. My guilty secret is that I like them. They are kind of a hands-off signal to other guys. Not that I have them knocking down my door or anything, but just in case. They are also evidence to the world that someone likes me and feels passionately about me. On the one hand, I feel rather guilty and embarrassed by having them because they are unprofessional and kind of a bad example for students. On the other hand, I quite like that someone thinks I'm hot and leaves evidence of it, even though he claims he tries not to.
Maybe I'll just stock up on concealer and it will be my secret.
Spiritwalker Trilogy by Kate Elliott
11 years ago
Hickies, the secret badge of honor.
ReplyDeleteI feel I'm being judged when I have them. That people think I'm a bad mother because I enjoy passionate intimacy. Why do they think so absurdly? I do like to be seen as a woman who is desirable enough to be "marked". It's kinda of a double standard for woman. You can be seen as slutty or irresponsible, by people who think being a good mother requires being saintly, or professionally not competent or as unprofessional for being to open sexually, etc. For most men it's a pat on the back, a wink, a nod, way to go we know your getting some smirk. I've run into a lot of double standards in my 45 years. I thought I wouldn't come across this one again, but since dating a 25 year old for a year, I have.
My geekboy (I laugh when you call your BF that, cus that's what I call mine) liked being marked for awhile, when first seeing each other. He is also a way to easy target, an I don't always do it on purpose, but I can very very quickly. While goofing around one day I said I was going to suck the dimples off his face ... opps. Fortunately, it looked like the shadow his dimples create when he smiles, but he didn't find it as amusing. I get pay backs now, if I opps, but I have plenty of concealer, lol. I'm not trying so hard to impress anyone anymore and I care less and less every year what others think. If it's enjoyable, fun or feels good and it doesn't hurt anyone else why should they care? My reputation has always been a rebel, and my kids are well liked A students, with respect, responsibility, common sense (raised without dad - died when they were 2 & 5) and great senses of humor. At 14 & 12, they also have learned not to judge people by looks, education or the presense of hicks.